Thought for Tuesday, Jan 31, 2006

You don't sew with a fork,
so I see no reason to eat
with knitting needles.

-Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

Thought for Monday, Jan 30, 2006

Boys will be boys,
and so will a lot
of middle-aged men.

-Kin Hubbard

Thought for Friday, Jan 27, 2006

Peace, n.:
In international affairs, a period of cheating
between two periods of fighting.

-Abrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Thought for Thursday, Jan 26, 2006

"Only one life,
'Twill soon be past;
Only what's done
for Christ will last."
~John Piper

Thought for Wednesday, Jan 25, 2006

"We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching tehm to walk and talk and the next 12 telling them to sit down and shut up."

-- Phyllis Diller, quoted in the San Diego Union-Tribune.

Thought For Tuesday, Jan 24, 2006

Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device thatwould give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except thatyou undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumermaneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR G--'S SAKE READ THISOWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADYUNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNEDIT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILDWHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER ANDSET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS,RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS,RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THEFACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT? -- Dave Barry, "Read This First!"

Thought for Monday, Jan 23, 2006

A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.

Thought for Tuesday, Jan 17, 2006

Die, v.:
       To stop sinning suddenly.
               -- Elbert Hubbard

Thought for Tuesday, Jan 10, 2006

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

Thought for Monday, Jan 9, 2006

                Some are born great,
               some achieve greatness,
       and some hire public relations officers.

                 -Daniel J. Boorstin (1914-2004)
                  Historian and writer
                  From the Masters
                  Bits and Pieces
                  2006/01/04

Thought for Tuesday, Jan 3, 2006

   Conscious is when you are aware of something
   and conscience is when you wish you weren't.

Thought for Monday, Jan 2, 2006

(Suggestion for YOUR New Year's Resolutions)



I once listed all the good things I did over the past year,
and then turned them into resolution form and backdated them.
That was a good feeling.



-Robert Fulghum