Thought for Friday, Apr 28, 2006

*
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's
character, give him power.

-Abraham Lincoln

Thought for Wednesday, Apr 26, 2006

A Polish immigrant goes to the Wisconsin Department of Motor
Vehicles in Milwaukee to apply for a driver's license and is
told he has to take an eye test. The examiner shows him a
card with the letters:

C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z

"Can you read this?" the examiner asks.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I know the guy!!"

Received from Paula.

"The Good, Clean Funnies List"
Thu, 9 Mar 2006
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Thought for Tuesday, Apr 25, 2006

*

A lot of people are afraid of heights.
Not me. I'm afraid of widths.

-Steve Wright

Thought for Monday, Apr 24, 2006

*

Don't tell any big lies today.
Small ones can be just as effective.

Thought for Friday, Apr 21, 2006

*

Real Users never know what they want,
but they always know when your
program doesn't deliver it.

Thought for Thursday, Apr 20, 2006

This guy asked his doctor, "Will I be able to play the piano
after my operation?" And the doctor says "Sure." And the guy says,
"Funny I couldn't do it before."

-Henny Youngman

Thought for Wednesday, Apr 19, 2006

It's minor surgery when it happens to others;
major when it is mine.

-tftd

Thought for Tuesday, Apr 18, 2006

Golden Oldie

If I could hit it on the head
it wouldn't be an estimate.

-Dr. Pete

Thought for Monday, Apr 17, 2006

A tax loophole is "something that benefits the other guy."
If it benefits you, it is "tax reform."

-Russell B. Long, U.S. Senator
http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=110483,00.html

Thought for Friday, Apr 14, 2006

Golden Oldie

The Hero died-
But that isn't the end of the story.

-Billboard 'Book Review'
J Kornegay
First Baptist Church, Bryan

Thought for Thursday, Apr 13, 2006

Next to being shot at and missed,
nothing is really quite as satisfying
as an income tax refund.

-F. J. Raymond, humorist
http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=110483,00.html
IRS Disclaimer
When it comes to taxes, everyone has an opinion. These quotes reflect the
opinions of their authors; their inclusion here is not an official IRS
endorsement of the sentiments expressed.

Thought for Wednesday, Apr 12, 2006

Golden Oldie

Where there is an income tax,
the just man will pay more
and the unjust less
on the same income.

-Plato

Thought for Tuesday, Apr 11, 2006

Golden Oldie

Don't tax you, don't tax me;
Tax the fellow behind the tree.

-Russell B. Long,
U.S. Senator

Thought for Monday, Apr 10, 2006

Golden Oldie

Income tax returns
are the most imaginative
fiction being written today.

-Herman Wouk

Thought for Friday, Apr 7, 2006

Golden Oldie

Although botanically speaking a fruit, in 1893 the U.S. Supreme Court
unanimously ruled that tomatoes are a vegetable (and thus taxable under
the Tariff Act of 1883) because of the way they are usually served.

ref: Smithsonian, August, 1990.

Thought for Thursday, Apr 6, 2006

*
The New Testament offers the basis for modern computer coding theory,
in the form of an affirmation of the binary number system.

But let your communication be Yea, yea; nay, nay: for
whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
-- Matthew 5:37

Thought for Wednesday, Apr 5, 2006

Golden Oldie

*
All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can,
too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you
subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you
can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S.
Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax
decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What
if it rains?"
-- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"

Thought for Tuesday, Apr 4, 2006

*
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

Thought for Monday, Apr 3, 2006

Good advice usually works best
when preceded by a bad scare.

-Al Batt
Writer
Bits and Pieces
March 2006