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Thought for Wednesday, Oct 31, 2007

*
Idiot Box, n.:
The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Thought for Tuesday, Oct 30, 2007

*

Honesty is the best policy,
but insanity is a better defense.

Thought for Monday, Oct 29, 2007

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Quigley's Law:
Whoever has any authority over you,
no matter how small, will
atttempt to use it.

Thought for Friday, Oct 26, 2007

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Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

Thought for Thursday, Oct 25, 2007

Golden Oldie

If you don't like someone,
the way he holds his spoon makes you furious;
if you like him,
he can turn his plate over
into your lap and you won't mind.

-Irving Becker

Thought for Wednesday, Oct 24, 2007

This year, a new word is doing the rounds .
"disintermediation". It means cutting out the
middleman, and of course, if the speaker
wasn't being paid lots of money to give
this talk, he or she would have used the
familiar old phrase instead of opting for
new-fangled business jargon. But no-one
became a guru by using words that
everybody understands, and in any case,
we live in a politically correct world,
and whoever heard of middlewomen?

-First published in MicroScope
August 9th, 1996
**************************

tftd must confess that he had not heard or seen this word until
reading a 'learned'(with two syllables) paper this week.

Thought for Tuesday, Oct 23, 2007

The best thing about getting old
is that all those things you couldn't
have when you were young
you no longer want.

-Earl Wilson (1907-1987)
Columnist
From the Masters:
12 Oct 2007

Thought for Monday, Oct 22, 2007

In explaining any puzzling Washington phenomenon,
always choose stupidity over conspiracy,
incompetence over cunning.
Anything else gives them too much credit.

-Charles Krauthammer

Thought for Friday, Oct 19, 2007

It's awfully hard to get
a hog to butcher itself.

-Strom Thurmond, explaining
why Congress doesn't
decrease deficit spending.
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Thought for Thursday, Oct 18, 2007

The recipe for perpetual ignorance is:
Be satisfied with your opinions and
content with your knowledge.

-Elbert Hubbard
From the Masters:
12 Oct 2007

Thought for Wednesday, Oct 17, 2007

*
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

Thought for Tuesday, Oct 16, 2007

Laughter is the most healthful exertion.

-Christoph Wilhelm Hufeland
From the Masters
01 Oct 2007

Thought for Monday, Oct 15, 2007

Anticipatory plagiarism occurs
when someone steals your original
idea and publishes it a hundred
years before you were born.

-Robert Merton
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Thought for Friday, Oct 12, 2007

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I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!

Thought for Thursday, Oct 11, 2007

Why is that you physicists always require
so much expensive equipment? Now the
Department of Mathematics requires nothing
but money for paper, pencils, and waste paper
baskets, and the Department of Philosophy
is better still. It doesn't even ask for
waste paper baskets.

-Anonymous University President
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Thought for Wednesday, Oct 10, 2007

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You should tip the waiter $10,
minus $2 if he tells you his name,
another $2 if he claims it will be
His Pleasure to serve you and another
$2 for each "special" he describes
involving confusing terms such as
"shallots," and $4 if the menu contains
the word "fixin's." In many restaurants,
this means the waiter will actually owe you money.

-- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"

Thought for Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007

(A story about either planning ahead,
or knowing your own limitations.)
"A skeleton walked into a bar and
ordered a beer and a mop...."

-From the Bill Wagner Collection

Thought for Monday, Oct 8, 2007

*


For three days after death hair
and fingernails continue to grow
but phone calls taper off.

-Johnny Carson

Thought for Friday, Oct 5, 2007

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Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know
any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he
doesn't know much.
-- Will Rogers

Thought for Thursday, Oct 4, 2007

It may be possible to incorporate laugher
into daily activities, just as is done
with other heart-healthy activities, such
as taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
The recommendation for a healthy heart may
one day be exercise, eat right and
laugh a few times a day.

-Michael Miller
From the Masters
01 Oct 2007

Thought for Wednesday, Oct 3, 2007

*

People who claim they don't let little
things bother them have never slept
in a room with a single mosquito.

Thought for Tuesday, Oct 2, 2007

Anyone without a sense of humor
is at the mercy of everyone else.

-William Rotsler
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Thought for Monday, Oct 1, 2007

If you don't make mistakes,
you're not working on hard
enough problems.

And that's a big mistake.

-Frank Wilczek
From the Bill Wagner Collection

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