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Thought for Tuesday, Mar 31, 2009

*
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

Thought for Monday, Mar 30, 2009

*
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.

Thought for Friday, Mar 27, 2009

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Anything is more impressive if you say it in Latin)

-Reported by Matt Powell in
AWADmail Issue 49
September 23, 2001

Thought for Thursday, Mar 26, 2009

*
"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any
firearms with me. I said, `Well, what do you need?'"
-- Steven Wright

Thought for Wednesday, Mar 25, 2009

*
We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always
respect their good judgement.

Thought for Tuesday, Mar 24, 2009

Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me! I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

-The Older Crowd
Good Clean Funnies List 2009/03/19

Thought for Monday, Mar 23, 2009

*
An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity
in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.
"Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if
you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like
an hour. But if you're sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an
hour seems like a minute."
The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a
moment and says, "And from this he makes a living?"
-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

Thought for Wednesday, Mar 18, 2009

Golden Oldie

May those that love us, love us;
and those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts;


and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may He turn their
ankles so we'll know them by their limping.


-Old Irish Toast


******************
tftd resumes on or about Monday 2007/03/23

Thought for Tuesday, Mar 17, 2009

Golden Oldie


If you get a reputation as an early
riser, you can sleep till noon.

-Irish Proverb
DailyInbox:
PAX Proverbs Plus - 01-30-02

Thought for Monday, Mar 16, 2009

Golden Oldie


...Irish Alzheimer's (we forget everything but our grudges)...


-Ann Coulter
_How to Talk To a Liberal (If You Must)_, p307

Thought for Friday, Mar 13, 2009

*
Real programmers don't bring brown-bag lunches. If the vending machine
doesn't sell it, they don't eat it. Vending machines don't sell
quiche.

Thought for Thursday, Mar 12, 2009

To keep a marriage brimming,
with love in your loving cup.
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.

-Ogden Nash
1902-1971

Thought for Wednesday, Mar 11, 2009

An Irishman proposed to his girl
on St. Patrick's Day and gave her
a ring with a synthetic diamond.
On learning it wasn't real, she
protested vehemently about his
cheapness. "It was in honor of St.
Patrick's Day" he smiled.
"I gave you a sham rock."

-Puns of the Day

Thought for Tuesday, Mar 10, 2009

Oh, the glamor, and the clamor that attends
the affairs of state, tend to fascinate the
rabble and impress some folks as great.

But the truth about the matter in terms of
loss and gain, there ain't one inauguration
worth a good, slow, two inch rain.

-Carlos Ashley
1904 - 1993
Recited at least twice at
the 2009 Cowboy Poetry Gathering
Alpine Texas
As reported by Herr Kemper

Thought for Monday, Mar 9, 2009

I was reading the dictionary. I thought
it was a poem about everything.

-Steven Wright
A Word A Day (AWAD) Issue 346

Thought for Friday, Mar 6, 2009

Regarding my investments.
"I am not as concerned with the return on my
money as I am with the return of my money."

-W.C. Fields
From: Kim Ketchum
Brother to Montana Rose


tftd always though of W.C. as a comic, not a prophet.
but here he is a prophet concerning profit.

Thought for Thursday, Mar 5, 2009

Golden Oldie


A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any
invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of
handguns and tequila.


-Mitch Ratliffe
_Technology Review_ April, 1992
(via BUBBA-L and Judy Knight)

* TFTD has been unable to determine
if the 's' is supposed to be on 'exception'.


**********************


One of tftd's loyal readers thought that a previous tftd could be
improved by changing the sentence structure. It made tftd remember the
above tftd and whether the word was really 'exception' or 'exceptions'.

Thought for Wednesday, Mar 4, 2009

Wisdom comes with age,
but sometimes age comes alone.


-Submitted by David, NX5S
From a 'Seasoned Citizen'
friend of his

Thought for Tuesday, Mar 3, 2009

Golden Oldie


I just need enough to tide
me over until I need more.

-Bill Hoest


************
Does this sound familiar? -tftd

Thought for Monday, Mar 2, 2009

Golden Oldie


Don't ask your barber
if you need a haircut.

-H.D. "Cotton" Galvin

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