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Thought for Monday, Aug 31, 2009

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This fortune intentionally not included.

Thought for Friday, Aug 28, 2009

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Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Thought for Thursday, Aug 27, 2009

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This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88

Thought for Wednesday, Aug 26, 2009

Blesed are the young, for they
shall inherit the national debt.

-Herbert Hoover

Thought for Tuesday, Aug 25, 2009

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Never try to outstubborn a cat.

-Lazarus Long,
"Time Enough for Love"

Thought for Monday, Aug 24, 2009

In reviewing the tftd from March 1989 I noticed that I made an
error (a different error than the one I made a few weeks ago)
on the COL Lafield quote.

At that time I wrote:

When you want it bad,...... you get it bad.

The COL corrected me with:

When you want something real bad,.....
that is exactly the way you get it.

-COL Lafield

Thought for Friday, Aug 21, 2009

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Fine day to throw a party.
Throw him as far as you can.


Probably the same 'party' that was telling puns the other day.

Thought for Thursday, Aug 20, 2009

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When a fly lands on the ceiling,
does it do a half roll or a half loop?

Thought for Wednesday, Aug 19, 2009

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Honesty pays,
but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

-F. M. Hubbard

Thought for Tuesday, Aug 18, 2009

Golden Oldie

Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves
to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way
to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the
cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in
fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a
lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of
the first day even if they have plenty of food and water.

-Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"

Thought for Monday, Aug 17, 2009

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The economy depends about as much on economists
as the weather does on weather forecasters.

-Jean-Paul Kauffmann

Thought for Friday, Aug 14, 2009

Golden Oldie


Before you tear a fence down,
you had better find out why it was
put up in the first place.


-LGEN John Van Alstyne '66
(At the time of original publication)
Newly named Commandant,
Corps of Cadets, TAMU

Thought for Thursday, Aug 13, 2009

Golden Oldie


Finagle's fourth Law:


Once a job is fouled up,
anything done to improve it
only makes it worse.

Thought for Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009

Golden Oldie


Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some just don't have film.

-Eternal Truths
Reported by The Good, Clean
Funnies List (GCFL.net)
2002/08/15

Thought for Tuesday, Aug 11, 2009

He who leaves nothing to chance
will do few things poorly,
but he will do few things.

-Edward F. Halifax
Submitted by Herr Kemper

Thought for Monday, Aug 10, 2009

Golden Oldie


I think the bottom-line difference between being single
and being married is this: When you're single you're as happy
as you are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as
the least happy person in the apartment.


-Tom Hertz (The Mouthpiece - August 2, 2001)
(tftd is happy for #41)

Thought for Friday, Aug 7, 2009

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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government
working for you.
-- Will Rodgers

Thought for Thursday, Aug 6, 2009

Integrity is not a conditional word.
It doesn't blow in the wind or change
with the weather. It is your inner
image of yourself, and if you look in
there and see a man who won't cheat,
then you know he never will.

-John D. MacDonald
From the Masters: Integrity/Honesty
31 July 2009

Thought for Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009

Golden Oldie


Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes,
et liberaler educatus et nimim propinquus ades!


[translation: If you can read this bumper sticker,
you are both very well educated and much too close!]


-From Instant Attitudes
http://www.instantattitudes.com/latin.html
Submitted by Thomas David Nichols

Thought for Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009

Golden Oldie

You gotta draw the line someplace.

-Charles Mason to Jeremiah Dixon

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This week's "A.Word.a.Day" are eponyms (a word coined after a person)
feature two people who work together. I thouht I would do the
Mason-Dixon line today just in case they were one of the eponyms
featured in "A.Word.a.Day" this week. -tftd

Thought for Monday, Aug 3, 2009

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Every successful person has had failures but repeated failure is no
guarantee of eventual success.

 Huanga @ cafenite - Thought For Today