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If you are unable to fix it with a hammer,
then you've obviously got an electrical problem. -Submitted by
The best leaders ... almost without exception
and at every level, are master users of stories and symbols. -Tom Peters **************
You only need two tools in life -
WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move, and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape. -Submitted by
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"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order" -- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"
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There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. It at last grew so small, He knew nothing at all, And now he's a College Professor.
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Have you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell you, "There's a time for work and a time for play," never find the time for play?
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Drawing on my fine -Robert Benchley
We all get heavier as we get older, because
there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. -Puns for the Day
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Nothing is ever lost by courtesy.
It is the cheapest of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and receives and thus, like mercy, is twice blessed. -Erastus Wiman
We sometimes speak of winning reputation
as thought that were the final goal. The truth is contrary to this. Reputation is a reward to be sure, but it is really the beginning, not the end of endeavor. It should not be the signal for a letdown, but rather, a reminder that the standard which won recognition can never again be lowered. From him who gives much, much is forever after expected. -Alvan Macauley
Do the Alphabet song and
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? -From the "Why" Collection
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) In what some in the White House are
calling a "win/win" solution to the nation's airport security and health care reform problems, starting next month U. S. airports will begin conducting full body scans that will double as annual physical checkups. President Obama announced the breakthrough solution, telling reporters, After scanning a passenger, Mr. Obama said, "We will either give you a The President added that instituting the body scan/checkup could ward But according to Davis Logsdon, who studies terrorism and health care -Andy Borowitz
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered? -From the "Why" Collection
Golden Oldie
Industry Fact: When Elvis Presley died in 1977 there were Today (Oct 1993) there are 48,000. If the current trend continues, -Audio Village ad
Climate is what you expect.
Weather is what you get. -Old Weather
An ordinary person will say, "I give you this orange."
A lawyer will say, "I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, -Rediscovered by Herr Kemper
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