Thought For Today

Thought for Thursday, May 13, 2010

2010-05-13T00:15:00.001-07:00

Enjoy life now -
it has an expiration date!

-From the Internet
submitted by Herr Kemper

Thought for Wednesday, May 12, 2010

2010-05-12T00:15:00.001-07:00

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

-Truths for Mature Humans
Submitted by Jim Berry

Thought for Tuesday, May 11, 2010

2010-05-11T00:15:00.001-07:00

Golden Oldie

It doesn't matter how good an eggs looks.
If it smells, there's something wrong.

Dieckhoff's Law

(According to the character Captain Muller in Jack Higgins'
_Night of the Fox_ speaking of 'old Dieckhoff, Chief of
Detectives in Hamburg'.)

Thought for Monday, May 10, 2010

2010-05-10T00:15:00.001-07:00

Golden Oldie

Don't ask your barber
if you need a haircut.

-H.D. "Cotton" Galvin

Thought for Friday, May 7, 2010

2010-05-07T00:15:00.001-07:00

I totally take back all those times I
didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Truths for Mature Humans
Submitted by Jim Berry

Thought for Thursday, May 6, 2010

2010-05-06T00:15:00.001-07:00

Golden Oldie
First published tftd 11/04/88

It's not my place
To run the train
The whistle I can't blow
It's not my place
To say how far
The train's allowed to go

It's not my place
To shoot off steam
Nor even clang the bell
But let the train once
Jump the track....
Then see who catches hell.

-On the wall of the Stationmaster's Office,
Grand Central Terminal

(Also seen in Korea circa 1965 at
an especially appropriate moment.)

Thought for Wednesday, May 5, 2010

2010-05-05T00:15:00.001-07:00

Nothing sucks more than that moment
during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

-Truths for Mature Humans
Submitted by Jim Berry

Thought for Tuesday, May 4, 2010

2010-05-04T00:15:00.001-07:00

Golden Oldie

Knowledge tells us that a
tomato is a fruit;
wisdom prevents us from putting
it into a fruit salad.

-Miles Kington
British humorist
as reported in Heinz
Hellin's letter to
Smithsonian Sept 2003

Thought for Monday, May 3, 2010

2010-05-03T00:15:00.001-07:00

Golden Oldie

I have always wished that my computer
would be as easy to use as my telephone.
My wish has come true. I no longer know
how to use my telephone.

-Bjarne Stroustrup,
computer science professor,
designer of C++ programming
language (1950- )
As reported in A-Word-A-Day

Thought for Friday, Apr 30, 2010

2010-04-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

Substitute Thought for the Day

tftd with an '*' in the upper right hand corner come
automatically from an Unix Fortune File and will be
distributed in about 10 working days if not
replaced. Nearly all of the ones queued up
Wednesday needed to be replaced. However
due to a juxtaposition of unfortunate circumstances
(tftd mistake) some changes were not made.
I will resend today's tftd and attempt to properly
replace the other thoughts that didn't get replaced.
I will use items from 'Truths for Mature Humans'
submitted by Jim Berry.

I think part of a best friend's job
should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

-Truths for Mature Humans
Submitted by Jim Berry

Thought for Friday, Apr 30, 2010

2010-04-30T00:15:00.001-07:00

*
Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.

Thought for Thursday, Apr 29, 2010

2010-04-29T00:15:00.001-07:00

Golden Oldie

The Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone
would be great places to visit if there were
not so many tourists.

-H.D. "Cotton" Galvin
circa 1963

Thought for Wednesday, Apr 28, 2010

2010-04-28T00:15:00.001-07:00

Golden Oldie

He who is carried on another's back
does not appreciate how far off the town is.

-African Proverb
DailyInbox: PAX Proverbs Plus
01-24-02

Thought for Tuesday, Apr 27, 2010

2010-04-27T00:15:00.001-07:00

*
"Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it."
-- Alex Schure

Thought for Monday, Apr 26, 2010

2010-04-26T00:15:00.001-07:00

*
Baruch's Observation:
If all you have is a hammer,
everything looks like a nail.

Thought for Friday, Apr 23, 2010

2010-04-23T00:15:00.001-07:00

*
Magnet, n.: Something acted upon by magnetism

Magnetism, n.: Something acting upon a magnet.

The two definition immediately foregoing are condensed from the works
of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject
with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human
knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Thought for Thursday, Apr 22, 2010

2010-04-22T00:15:00.001-07:00

*
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
-- Lily Tomlin

Thought for Wednesday, Apr 21, 2010

2010-04-21T00:15:00.001-07:00

*
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly
greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed
inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner
party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.
-- H. L. Mencken

Thought for Tuesday, Apr 20, 2010

2010-04-20T00:15:00.001-07:00

*
Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.

Thought for Monday, Apr 19, 2010

2010-04-19T00:15:00.001-07:00

*
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Thought for Friday, Apr 16, 2010

2010-04-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

I sincerely believe that there is a time in life
for drifting. There is a time for sitting back
and getting in touch with yourself. Some
of our most interesting illuminations and
ideas will come when we take time to
reflect, time to kick back and cruise awhile.

-Rudolfo Anaya
Bits and Pieces
April 2010

Thought for Thursday, Apr 15, 2010

2010-04-15T00:15:00.000-07:00

Real difficulties can be overcome,
it is only imaginary ones that are
unconquerable.

-Theodore N. Vail
Bits and Pieces
April 2010

Thought for Wednesday, Apr 14, 2010

2010-04-14T00:15:00.000-07:00

*
Ever notice that even the busiest people
are never too busy to tell you
just how busy they are.

Thought for Tuesday, Apr 13, 2010

2010-04-13T00:15:00.001-07:00

The amount of good we can do with a
glad heart and a smile is incalculable,
and the good of it goes out to others
and stays with us at the same time.

-Dixie Carter
1939-2010
"Trying to Get to Heaven:
Opinions of a Tennessee Talker"
Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Thought for Monday, Apr 12, 2010

2010-04-12T00:15:00.000-07:00

Golden Oldie

We can often do more for others
by trying to correct our own faults
than by trying to correct theirs.

-Francis Fenelon
From Penny Pennington 2001/10/01-
tftd would certainly try
to correct its faults...
if it had any.