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4/5/06 - Parenting - Discipline


Biblical Discipline - Method of Biblical Influence.
In the world, after certain age, people don't change much. People's behaviors don't change much, unless the Spirit of God intervenes.
We have limited time with our children; necessary to correct and disciple our children. This is not the responsibility of teacher in school or Sunday school.

God gives us the standard to obey; parents can teach them: the sin issues; our offense; forgiveness.
Obedience is the issue. Love is at the core -- Love = Obedience. Example of Christ.

When the children are on their own, they will be able to live Godly lives.
Prov. 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

This is a responsibility parents have. We are teaching them, correcting them, disciplining them.

Importance of Discipline
We need to come to understanding of a child's heart.
Ps 51:5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.

A fool mocks God -- that's the heart of the child that is rebellious against God.
Lack of fear of God = Full of foolishness; no wisdom.
When you allow that to take root, there surely be destruction in teenage year. In their nature, they want to disobey.

Two tools for parents to teach:
Eph 6:4 - Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
1) Teaching through instructions.

Deuteronomy 6:6-96 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

What is to obey; worship; study the Bible.
Enemy: hypricritical; say one thing, do another.

2) Teaching through admonition.
Verbally and physically.
Correcting through reprove.
Never to be used as an abusive form; only to correct. Not used to harm the child, or lash out your anger.
We need to communicate the consequences of disobeying God.

Prov 10:13 On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found,but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense.

When rod is mentioned, is in parent-child relationship; use the rod in faith.

Matt 18: Discipline for restoration and love, not punishment. We are rescuing the child.
The child learns to fear God through the parents, mainly the father.

Proverbs 15:10 There is severe discipline for him who forsakes the way; whoever hates reproof will die.

Intended result: to correct foolishness
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 24:14 Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

Lead them to repentance. Talk about the child's offense.
Method: privately, immediately, if possibly can; proportionally; forgive. Help them to seek forgiveness.
Parents - foolish to hold grudge against the child. Restoration should be immediate.
Pray - lead them to pray; forgiveness. The sin has been dealt with.
Show affection to them - I.e. hug; let them know the restoration. The relationship is good, not damaged.

We are off next week. 4/12. Hans in Czech.
Missions Report and Potluck on 4/19 - Asian night.

3/29/06 - Parenting - Influence

Accountability is not something that people do not usually seek. Society is building on this. Man is not responsible for one's own action.
We are born sinful. Child's greatest need in light of that --
Salvation. The mean of salvation is Christ. A child's influence is the parents.

Three methods of influence:
1) Teaching them through Scripture.
First generation plants the tree; next generation enjoys the shades. Deut 6:6-9 - teach them diligently. Teach repeatedly, clearly, and relevantly.

2) Through discipline.
A secular report: How do you ruin your children? -- 1) give a child everything he wants; 2) bad words -- laugh at them or ignore them; 3) no spiritual training; 4) avoid using the word wrong; 5) pick up everything that one leaves behind.
Prov 3:11-12; Prov 10:13;
Discipline is a consequence of disobedience.
Prov 22:13
What can go wrong- do it in anger. Goal of church discipline: restoration. Same in discipline - restore to God first, then parents.
Discipline --> upbringing in childhood godliness.

3) Through being an example.
1921 Evan O'Neil King - dr. who tried a procedure on himself first.
Responsibility for us is to lead our children to Christ, we are to do so by serving, modeling and being humble.

How are we to model this:
1 - Mother: Godly wife; make home the priority; helper to the husband.
2 Tim 1:5 - Timothy - his grandmother taught him.

2 - Father: Leader of the home; moldable year - leave the right imprints on them.
Integrity, humility, devotion, examine himself; able to forgive; able to sacrifice for others.
Model Christ; first be disciple of Christ; show how we follow Christ.

J.C. Ryle: The Duties of Parents
Beware of that miserable delusion into which some have fallen, - that parents can do nothing for their children, that you must leave them alone, wait for grace, and sit still. These persons have wishes for their children in Balaam’s fashion, -they would like them to die the death of the righteous man, but they do nothing to make them live his life. They desire much, and have nothing. And the devil rejoices to see such reasoning, just as he always does over anything which seems to excuse indolence, or to encourage neglect of means.

To be on their own, making Godly decisions on their own.

Men's Group sharing:
- Hard to be consistent; letting little things slid. Our own laziness. Passivity. Such things can take its toll immediately on children (while takes longer to see the effect on your wife.) - need to be discipline -- stay spiritual alert, engage at home.
- Heart issue - address at the behavior level; heart issue takes more time.
- Children learn from various places; threat - exposed to (friends, school, TV, even church) - fight against bad influences; debrief.
- How early? See sinfulness in them; babies know more than you'd give them credit for.
- Cautious - children's idol (self, toys); training them against their selfishness.
- Wisdom: no warning vs. warning first. First time obedience; immediate obedience.
- Grandparents - one time -- all gone.
- Obey - not just parents, others.

Bob will be preaching at Easter service in Czech. Easter is a big thing in Czech. Keep him and his family in prayer.

3/22/06 - Lesson 21: Abram Blessed in Battle

Gen 14:1-16 Abram Rescues Lot
1 In the days of Amraphel king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of Goiim,
2 these kings made war with Bera king of Sodom, Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela (that is, Zoar).
3 And all these joined forces in the Valley of Siddim (that is, the Salt Sea).
4 Twelve years they had served Chedorlaomer, but in the thirteenth year they rebelled.
5 In the fourteenth year Chedorlaomer and the kings who were with him came and defeated the Rephaim in Ashteroth-karnaim, the Zuzim in Ham, the Emim in Shaveh-kiriathaim,
6 and the Horites in their hill country of Seir as far as El-paran on the border of the wilderness.
7 Then they turned back and came to En-mishpat (that is, Kadesh) and defeated all the country of the Amalekites, and also the Amorites who were dwelling in Hazazon-tamar.

8 Then the king of Sodom, the king of Gomorrah, the king of Admah, the king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela (that is, Zoar) went out, and they joined battle in the Valley of Siddim
9 with Chedorlaomer king of Elam, Tidal king of Goiim, Amraphel king of Shinar, and Arioch king of Ellasar, four kings against five.
10 Now the Valley of Siddim was full of bitumen pits, and as the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, some fell into them, and the rest fled to the hill country. 11So the enemy took all the possessions of Sodom and Gomorrah, and all their provisions, and went their way.
12 They also took Lot, the son of Abram's brother, who was dwelling in Sodom, and his possessions, and went their way.

13 Then one who had escaped came and told Abram the Hebrew, who was living by the oaks of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol and of Aner. These were allies of Abram.
14 When Abram heard that his kinsman had been taken captive, he led forth his trained men, born in his house, 318 of them, and went in pursuit as far as Dan.
15 And he divided his forces against them by night, he and his servants, and defeated them and pursued them to Hobah, north of Damascus.
16 Then he brought back all the possessions, and also brought back his kinsman Lot with his possessions, and the women and the people.

Outline: The Courage of Abram (14:1–16)
A. The villains (14:1–11)
1. The rebellion (14:1–4): Five Canaanite city-states rebel against Kedorlaomer of Elam.
2. The retaliation (14:5–11): Kedorlaomer and his allies defeat the armies of the five city-states, plunder their cities, and carry many people away as slaves.
B. The victim (14:12): Lot, now living in Sodom, is taken away as a slave.
C. The victory (14:13–16)
1. Abram’s army (14:13–14): Upon learning of Lot’s capture, Abram and his 318 trained servants ride out to rescue Lot.
2. Abram’s attack (14:15): Abram divides his men and initiates a surprise attack at night.
3. Abram’s achievements (14:16): Kedorlaomer is defeated, and Lot is rescued.

1. Gen. 14:1-3 sets the stage for the war that was about to occur (in v.8-12). Who were the key players? Which kings were involved and how were they aligned? What was the reason for the war (v.4)?

Amraphel king of Shinar (an early king of Babylon)
Arioch king of Ellasar
Chedorlaomer king of Elam
Tidal the king of Goiim
Bera king of Sodom
Birsha king of Gomorrah
Shinab king of Admah
Shemeber king of Zeboiim
king of Bela (Zoar)

King of Chedorlaomer is the head of the invaders; he's a pocessive person. (potential benefits: human resources, slaves, trade routes, etc.)
The kings of the city states of the Jordan Valley rebelled and refused to pay their annual tribute to King Chedolaomer of Shiner (Babylon), who was then in power over this whole area.
The first 12 years they complied.
The 13th year -- forget it!
The 14th year, the war started.

2. What did Chedarlaomer and his kings do on their way to the Sodom/Gomorrah area (v.5-7)? Why would those place names be significant to the Israelites in Moses’ time? (Consider Num 20:22; 21:4; 10-13; Deut 1:46-2:8; Joshua 12:4; 13:12; Gen 36:20-21, 29-30; Deut 2:11-12, 20, 22.)

Killing everyone around, not just the rebellious nations. (Even the giants -- Rephaim and Zuzim). They defeated the Amorites and Amalekites. Anything in his path. Instilled fear in people.

"They were afraid, seen God's might before."
Israelites will encounter them again during the time -- on their way to the promise land; strategic locations of the promise land.

Numbers: wanderness / wilderness
Deut: 2nd Law.

3. What happened to Lot in v.12? What was he doing living IN Sodom? Did he start out living there? Taking chapter 12 into consideration (esp. v.10-13), what theological implications can we infer from Lot’s predicament?

He was taken captive. He chose to live there, moving away from Abram.
Lot's sin: Greed; Sodom: land - well watered; counted righteous (1 Peter).

- God's judgment.
- Suffering from ones' Sin and its consequences.

verse 13: The word Hebrew means "to cross over," "to pass over," "passenger," or "pilgrim."

4. What prompted Abram to go to war against the eastern kings (v. 14)? Describe the men whom Abram “led out”? What do these two details tell us about him?

A messenger came to Abram, When Lot is captured (who escaped).

Up to this point, he's timid, he's a peacemaker, he's passive...

Unusual of what he did here --
Trained; Prepared; home grown;
318 men + allied; small force.

Strategic with such a small force, Shock and Awe. Moving quickly, he's decisive; divided his men and surprised the enemy. Ready with moment's notice.

Abraham has wisdom; he's prepared, he's experienced; always on alert - to protect his family. He fought in faith.

5. What is the theological significance of Abram’s defeat of the eastern kings (cf. 12:3)?

- God kept his promise, from the beginning. It's all God's glory in the victory.
- Lot was spared because of God's mercy and his promise.
- Abraham's faith in God, believing the God who kept his promise.
- Restore a brother in sin.

12:3 I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

6. Remembering that Genesis was composed by Moses prior to entering the promised land, what benefit would Abram’s defeat of the eastern kings give to the wilderness Jews? What was their connection to God’s promises to Abram?

If the wilderness Jews would remembr this part: God used only 318+ men to defeat the army of four nations. God has shown Israel his power and the king over these nations, his covenant promise to Israel.

Trusting God's word; salvation; Trust He'll return; in all situation, God will be glorified.
Help; family member in need.
Passivity - need to engage more to what matters rather than engage in others. If kids don't get engaged in the word, it will be something else, like Spongebob.

Small Group:

1. Considering how Lot’s choices affected him, in what ways are you “encouraging” or inviting the blessing of God upon your life? In what ways are you discouraging this? How do you propose to deal biblically with these areas? Please be specific.

2. How does God’s faithfulness to Abram (in granting him victory over the Eastern Kings) encourage you in your pursuit of holiness? What New Testament promises / truths does it bring to your mind?

 Huanga @ cafenite - Tustin Flock